A Grandma's Prayer

Our grandson, Elijah, loves to come to our house, or as he still calls it (a year later) “Nana’s new house”. He loves it here at Divine Acres Ranch. He visits us for a weekend every month to give his sweet momma a little break.

Elijah is not nearly as interested in the horses as we expected him to be. He likes them. He knows all the horses by name and says hello and goodbye to them. He likes Soldier (our big Arabian horse) the best, and likes to rub his sides, but he doesn’t care a bit about riding him, and that’s quite okay. There are plenty of other things to do at the ranch.

He loves to run like the wind through the pastures or down the little road between our house and the barn. He gets a kick out of riding his bike through the barn, out the back door and down the little slope. He likes playing in the sand anywhere that he finds it. He loves to run with our little poodles. He enjoys the new playground that we built here at the ranch – sliding, swinging, climbing the rock wall, playing in the sandbox, or just relaxing in the hammock. When it’s hot we blow up the wading pool for him and he runs and jumps into it over and over and over again. Two of his favorite things are throwing rocks into the creek and climbing trees.

In so many ways, Elijah is a typical eight year old little boy. He likes to run, climb, play with dogs, and ride his bike just like every other eight year old little boy. The majority of the time he is here over the weekends, he is pure joy to be around. He is funny, charming, handsome, sweet, extremely lovable, and he minds very well.

Then there is the other 10% - 15% of the time when he is a bit of a challenge. Those are the times when his sensory issues get the best of him, or he gets frustrated with himself because he can’t understand something or he messes up a page that he’s coloring or he wakes up in the middle of the night screaming and banging his head against the wall. Those are the times my heart aches for him. I want so badly to help him, but often there’s nothing to do but back off and let him vent. It is painful to watch him. It is frustrating to feel such helplessness as a grandparent who loves him so very much.

These are the times I pray and give him again into the Lord’s hands. Only the Lord can help him when he retreats into his own world so full of anger, pain, and frustration. I ask the Lord to fill him with peace, to calm him, to love on him, to hold him when he doesn’t want anyone to touch him, to comfort him, and to heal him. I pray for wisdom and discernment as to what to say or do at that particular moment. I pray for patience and understanding and a peace within myself, so that I don’t lose it or fall apart myself.

Ever since Elijah was born, before we ever knew he had autism, I have prayed that the Lord would one day use him to bring many to Christ – that he would be an awesome man of God with a powerful testimony of God’s love and grace. I still pray that, and I believe with all my heart that the Lord will answer that prayer – the quiet prayer of a loving grandma.